31 Days of Life: Aching Heart {read as: Pity Party}

Today is the two days before my niece’s 9th birthday, one day before the actual day for her. They are in the Philippines, they are 16 hours ahead of us. This time of year I tend to have an aching heart – out of their family of 5, 4 have birthdays in the next two months. My brother’s birthday isn’t until March.

We sent dear sweet Avery’s birthday gifts in ‘the box’ six weeks ago. They got word yesterday it is in the country, but now we don’t know how long before they get it. She won’t have gifts from us on her day – this makes my heart ache. I miss them so much and really want some little people hugs. Like really, really bad. I’m needing them. I do have friend’s with littles about the same age. I do get hugs from them often enough to keep the ache at bay. {It always amazes me how little kids know when an adult needs a hug. Have you ever noticed that?} For the most part, until it is birthday time. Then I have to do LOTS more praying to get through. My kids have gotten used to me having ‘leaky eyes’ this time of year. :-D

Tov’s 8th birthday is on the 4th, my sister-in-law’s birthday is the 14th, and my other sweet niece’s birthday is the 10th of December. This year they turn 8, 9, & 11. I have Tov’s birthday gift here waiting to go in the mail, we have to take it to a Post Office to fill out declaration paperwork. I’m horrible at going to the Post Office. I’m hoping because it is letter-size it will get there in three weeks. I did stick a small treat for him into the first box because I didn’t know what the box schedule would be.

Earlier this week we sent a second box. No birthday presents from me made it into that box, but we’ll be sending another next week. I’m sad, I don’t know if Miah (oldest) won’t get anything in time for her birthday. I am still hoping the last box (the one going next week) will make it there in time, but it’ll be squeaking in if it does. Mom and dad get to go visit, they won’t get there until mid-December though. It seems like ages since we’ve seen them. Okay, so enough of my pity party.

Here is a picture of Tov & I, he was not quite 4 and a whole group of us were hiking. He was tired – we knew they were leaving in a matter of time to finish their missions training in Arizona. I took (and still take) every opportunity to snuggle my Tovie I can get – even if it comes at the cost of carrying him UPhill/mountain! I can hear his sweet little 4 year old voice as he talked to me all the way. To help me with balance & not killing my back,  he needed to put his head on my shoulder so his body weight was in the right place. I loved every minute of it! :-D {When he was home at Christmas last year – he still let me snuggle him!}

So I have been working on birthday & Christmas gifts. What do you get for Alaskan kids in the Philippines? I live by a self-imposed ____ {don’t know what to call it – motto/rule/standard?}: I don’t buy gifts for the sake of buying gifts. Usually, I don’t spend more than $5 (now sometimes $10) on a gift. I just can’t. Unless it is something someone really needs, then it’s a totally different ball game. Otherwise, I believe most of us in America don’t need half of what we have, even those of us with not much.

I strongly believe a gift should be from the heart, not an obligation.

This is something I established with my kids from the beginning, so we are really into making gifts. {Interesting note: making a gift often costs more than buying one :-D, but has so much more value.} Anyway, in the Philippines there are basic things not as easily for them to come by – like batteries. So we have to be selective with what we do. Last year for Christmas I started Tovie on Hex bugs, with a back up stash of batteries. He loved them while here, then he was concerned about using up the batteries….  I asked Vince if we should get him some more for his birthday or Christmas. {Remember: Vince went to the Philippines in April} He replied that Tov doesn’t use the Hex bugs – “why would he play with those when there are so many real bugs…why play with a fake cockroach when you can play with a real one?” GROSSS! He thought he was funny…unfortunately, I also know it was true.  Oh well, good idea gone bad.

:-D…..so, all of these memories {& yes, tears} are to say – this is a mandated sewing weekend. No more chances. I have to have everything done by early-mid week. I am making Alaska themed blankets for each of them. I’m sure they need new blankets :-) {I’m a blanket addict, as far as I’m concerned you can’t ever have too many blankets – even if their average temp is 80*…}; besides, I found awesome Alaska material this summer. AND besides that, they can wrap the blanket around them and imagine it has a hug from auntie April.

I absolutely LOVE being an auntie. I love the fact my family is close in heart and it hurts for us to be separated, as I’ve said before; “it’s because we care it hurts so much”. There was a time I never would have believed I would care if I didn’t see my brothers. For those of you with teenage children who are driving you nuts, there is hope :-D….my senior year in high school, my youngest brother & I didn’t ride to church together (he was a 6th grade boy, I do understand this better now).

Now: I love my brothers, I love my brothers’ wives, I love my brothers’ children. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for any one of them. I am blessed. I do know that, and do work to not take that for granted.