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One Word | Receive

January 14, 2015 by April

New Year. One Word. One Verse.

It’s that time again.

As Christmas approached and life felt calmer than it had for a long time, I realized I was enjoying the fruits of my one word last year. I had a whole list of words I was debating, interestingly enough, I didn’t remember the rest of them specifically, but as I think over last year I can remember moments of those words all being front and center and choosing to trust above all. In January 2014, I wrote a list for how I was going to choose to trust. Now, a year later, I can see how trust was just a first step (& a glimpse or two of growth).

My word for this year was hard for me to come up with, so much so I was debating if I was even going to “do it”. I was leaning more towards picking a verse to live by, to remember each day at random moments when things were “off”, to filter each upcoming circumstance thru; but then I started seeing all these posts about picking a verse…and the rebellion in me surfaced.

I didn’t want to do what everyone else was doing.

So I did the mature thing (HA!). I decided I didn’t care and wasn’t going to participate in any of “it” this year. I’d just continue to focus on trust. After all, I have a long ways to go yet to be able to say I “get” the idea of trust.

then …

in reading yet another book*; listening to yet another song* and having a resulting conversation with my daughter* (and finding out I was horribly wrong in that conversation*); and a couple Bible Studies later…. I was feeling as if I’d failed the whole year and hadn’t learn how to trust at all…..

then …

there was a verse I’m sure I’ve read before. a verse I know I’ve heard before. but, it seriously slapped me in the face, Isaiah 43:18 & 19 from the Message, it stood in front of me waving it’s arms to get my attention – then it hit me. hard. like knocked the wind out of me:

“Forget about what’s happened;
    don’t keep going over old history.

Be alert. Be present.

I’m about to do something brand-new.
    It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?”

What?

  • Forget about what’s happened?* I thought I was supposed to remember so I don’t repeat the mistakes I’ve made in the past.
  • Don’t keep going over old history? I thought I was supposed to learn from the past in order to not waste the pain. I knew I wasn’t to dwell on it, but I did think I was supposed to use it as a reference point.*
  • He is going to do something brand-new?* So, I should anticipate change?* I should look forward to something new? “It’s bursting out? Don’t you see it?” To me, this sounds like it means it’s something good, not to be afraid of. (I realize Jeremiah 29:11 says He has good plans for us, but I still haven’t ever enjoyed change, or the idea of change.)

When I read this, I all of a sudden had the image of me pushing His gift of grace & unconditional love back into His hands, of me telling Him (by my actions) Jesus wasn’t/isn’t enough. I was sickened. I’m sure it was the combination of doing an Advent Bible Study (an actual study, not activities like I’ve tried in the past) and working on Christmas gifts that His ultimate gift/giving a gift were so closely at the front of my mind. Since June I’ve been trying to grasp how extravagant our God is*. This is NOT a philosophy I’ve grown up with, believe, exercised, or even really considered to be truth – until June 2014.

Mind boggling. I realized I really did need to branch out my focus for 2015, to not just to focus on trust. but instead, what I was going to do with trust. I continued to pray & ask for help to see what He wanted me to see, hear what He wanted me to hear, and then trust what I saw & heard. I knew there were still pieces missing in my mind.

Then, in church another verse got me. Romans 12:12

“Rejoice in hope.

Be patient in tribulation.

Be constant in prayer.”

My answer: Hope. Anticipation. Patience. Prayer.

My answer, but not my word. It didn’t “feel” right, it wasn’t complete. Following is an incomplete copy/paste of my text conversation with a dear, dear sister-friend who knows ALL my ugly, understands my way of thinking, has listened to ENDLESS hours of my verbal processing, and helped me stay focused on Him. (by the way, this conversation was as she crossed over into 2015 and I was still waiting for the clock to turn over)

me: what is the word for imagine/anticipate/expect/look forward to?
her: Man, you said them all
me: there isn’t one word that means all of it? I’m trying to summarize my ‘one word’ for 2015. last year was trust – this year, Is 43:18&19 in the message is what I want to hang onto each morning
her: Expectancy…….Hope
me: hope is what i’ve thought before, but i feel like the desperate part of hope has dropped off for me
her: Faith is the substance of things hoped for……..hope is made of faith
me: so which comes first
her: They flow together
me: so can you have faith without hope or hope without faith? Im’ confused on which I don’t have. or should i say – which i struggle with more
her: because you need to exercise acceptance. So maybe that is the word, acceptance

(I had forgotten I felt that way about the word hope – until getting on to write this post and seeing I wrote it a year ago. BUT, I’m so excited to note the “desperate part of hope has dropped off for me” without even really remembering it was something I was wanting to see changed!)

So I ushered in the new year thinking ‘acceptance’ was my one word…but I noticed when I’d think about writing it, I felt panicky. as in mind shut down panicky. A couple more days of prayer and a the middle of the night revelation (as in woke me up out of a hard sleep & I still remembered it in the morning!!!).

What was this middle of the night revelation? My problem with ‘acceptance’ was too often I have felt as if I had to accept something/s. circumstances I can’t change. it’s a feeling of being resigned to what is going on. I have a choice to choose a good attitude or not, but I can’t change what is happening.

Receive.

Receive is the word I was looking for. Receive is the word that makes my soul sigh with relief. For your sake (& because of time restraints), I’m not going to explain all this means to me right now. :-) What I will say – I am thoroughly anticipating this new year and all it will bring like no other year before. I am eager to receive all He has in store – good and bad. hard and easy. deep and superficial. fleeting and long-lasting. Crazy, but I think I might actually be going down the right path. with the lights on so I can see.

Receive photo wm

* these are all bunny trails you can thank me for NOT taking you on (for today at least :-D). However, you can expect to see them brought up again in future posts. Just as soon as I can wrap my brain around processing them and writing it out.

I am linking up with the Faith Barista for Beloved Brews.

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Filed Under: it's life, New Year, [365:oneword] Tagged With: |365:oneword|

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Comments

  1. Kamea Hope says

    January 16, 2015 at 11:57 am

    This is my first visit to your blog. I love how sensitive to the Holy Spirit you are – that when something does not quite sit right with you, you pay attention to that. What a precious gift – never lose that. I love your word for the year. I pray that you truly will RECEIVE all that He has planned for you in 2015.
    Blessings,
    Kamea
    I am newly sharing my journey of healing from childhood abuse at incrementalhealing.wordpress.com I would love it if you would stop by and share your thoughts!

    • April says

      January 16, 2015 at 1:55 pm

      Kamea – thank you for such sweet words of encouragement! I’m headed your way now :-).

Jeremiah 29:11

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April C Keller
The power is out. Now is when it’s REALLY conven The power is out. Now is when it’s REALLY convenient to read eBooks (& you have fully charged devices). The orange glow to the right is from the collection of candles I had handy. 
Super duper thankful for the gas fireplace!!! The temp was 43° earlier today, has dropped to 15° & supposed to continue dropping thru the night.
#thankfultonotreadbycandlelight
#gasfireplacesareawesome
#eveofchristmaseve2020 #decemberinwi
Dec 22, 2020 at 7:39am😍😍😍 No need to say Dec 22, 2020 at 7:39am😍😍😍
No need to say more.
#decembersunrise #wisconsin #wearegaininglightnow
December 21st is the shortest day of the year. As December 21st is the shortest day of the year. As a lifelong Alaskan my body & mind are very tuned to this date - we now gain daylight each day. Living WI has had many benefits & blessings - the least of which isn’t even how I will see the daylight before I get to work. 😍😍😍 I am not sad about this in the least!

I’m so thankful for this morning’s living/dining/kitchen views. I love the glow of Christmas lights & the way they immediately stop my thoughts in their tracks and cause me to remember to be thankful.
#christmas2020 #ak2co2wi #mondaymornings #thankful #blessed #christmaslights
😍😍😍 Como Park Conservatory = eye candy ev 😍😍😍 Como Park Conservatory = eye candy every time. {{sigh}}
We caught the sun low in the sky & it was simply beautiful! When we walked out it was the setting sun on the glass building & the flag blowing in a lazy breeze. #coldbutbeautiful #perfect 
#comoparkconservatory #midnovember #eyecandy #soulfilling #breathtaking #thankfulfortheopportunity #americanflaginthebreeze
Just a tiny note to share how much I am absolutely Just a tiny note to share how much I am absolutely LOVING the sunrise pink at 7am in mid-November! 😍😍😍
It’s a whole 25° & supposed to start snowing within the hour. (Do you see the neighbor’s pink window reflections?)
#happymonday #blessings #itsanewweek #wintersunrisebefore8
Hi guys! April’s daughter here. Due to an unkind Hi guys! April’s daughter here. Due to an unkind comment and a hard week behind the social media wall she deleted the post. After a good talk and encouragement I am here re-posting with permission. Remember that what’s seen on social media does not reflect what goes on behind the scenes. The intention of the post was to share a personal struggle and encourage others who may feel the same. A difference of opinion does not require a comment. 

The repost:

Are you an American? If so, voting is your civic duty. 
🇺🇸To not vote is the same as voting against your freedom.
🇺🇸To not vote is the same as voting against your right of citizenship. 
🇺🇸To not vote is the same as disregarding every American soldier and his/her family’s sacrifice for you. 
I promise – no matter what you think – YOU ARE NOT TOO BUSY to vote! This year especially, they have made it so easy (not interested in debating the right/wrongness of this, just stating fact) and it’s not as if the deadline has been a surprise date. If you choose to not vote, there is no excuse other than being lulled into apathy by the privilege you take for granted. Don’t be lazy.

For those who think I’m being too harsh – these are the things I had to remind myself of in the not so distant past as I was overwhelmed by figuring out the simple-yet-not-so-simple-process of how to register as a new resident, where to vote, and who to vote for. And then again today as anxiety joined me when I’d parked at my polling place & it was time to actually stand in line with all the others.

Side note, 2020 brought yet another first for me: I’ve never voted on a non-Alaskan ballot. Instead of boroughs & districts, I navigated counties & wards. 
Even so, the ballot looked the same. 😊 

And then I went for a beautiful country drive through harvested fields and looked at barns. Feeling thankful & blessed for the freedom and ability to do so.
A little crisp & foggy outside, but perfectly cozy A little crisp & foggy outside, but perfectly cozy inside.🍂🍁

#september2020 #fall #thankful
So...not exactly a surprise!😊 Take your own qu So...not exactly a surprise!😊

Take your own quiz at holleygerth.com/introvertquiz
 
You definitely should go check out more about The Powerful Purpose if Introverts by @holleygerth 
#introvertpurpose #introvert #godmadeuseachunique
🍂Fall is coming! 🍂 This change of the season 🍂Fall is coming! 🍂
This change of the seasons is the first one I’ve felt alert for since moving here 🍁🍂 & it’s all so pretty (the 5 trees I’ve seen starting to change)! But I’m not in the least ready for it, it’s the 1st time in 18 years I haven’t needed school supplies of some sort - for either of the kids (homeschooling) or myself (college). Now, I just get to enjoy all the school supplies simply because I love them!😊

The first pic is just for enjoyment because I know the majority if you can’t possibly understand what the 2nd & 3rd photos mean to me. 😊

As an introvert who has been transitioning from work-from-home to working-at-the-office-everyday, on a team & working on a variety of projects, I often feel as if I’m majorly failing at simply being nice. 

I’m too often in my head, processing all I’m trying to remember to do/get done & short of smiling in passing, there isn’t a ton of other interaction. BUT the 2nd photo is evidence of while not having more than a handful of non-work related conversations, I have a co-worker who knows me incredible well! On Tues, she brought me one Pantone color book & yesterday she brought me SEVEN more!😍 
I never dreamed I’d get to touch one of these little color charts in real-life, let alone have a set of them living at my desk!!! 

2020 will never be forgotten, for so many reasons. Big & small.
#seen&known #itsthelittlethings #littlethingsadduptobigthings #blessed #thankful
It’s no small secret I’m a hard-core introvert It’s no small secret I’m a hard-core introvert & not by just a little bit. Social distancing has always been my norm. I can’t say I’ve seen this as a blessing in life 🥴. 

Ironically, while 2020 has required so many social appreciators (extroverts) to stay at/work from home, life in 2020 has required me to learn how to work out of the home full-time. After working from home for the last 20 years, this has not been a small adjustment!

I have lived in WI for 8 months now, and I’m just starting to feel semi-human in daily life. I totally & completely underestimated the toll an unexpected 2nd large move, traveling over Christmas, wrapping up my senior year of college/degree, having my oldest graduate college, and working on a team of people out of the house full-time would have on me. #notenoughhourstorecovereachday

You will likely see me in this space more as I’m on the book launch team for The Powerful Purpose of Introverts, the latest book by @holleygerth. I’m really looking forward to learning how being an introvert can be a blessing & strength.

 #introvertpurpose #createdinhisimage #lovedasiam #nothingtoprove #introvert
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